Overall I'm feeling better than I did last time. I have a lot more energy and less intense nausea. I've only thrown up once and I dont have any intense aversions. Coffee, chicken (again) meat and usually sweets don't sound great a lot of the time but it's much less definitive than it was last time. Lately my nausea has been much better than just three weeks ago where I felt a lot pickier (fish tacos, smoothies, and eggs and bagels were always good). I haven't gained as much weight so far (hooray!) but I'm still pretty crazily thirsty. I am having a harder time hiding this one, as I'm showing a lot sooner than before, not surprising. If I really suck it in then I just look little pudgy, but if I relax even a little you can tell. I've worn quite a few flowy scarves to try and hide it :)
Honestly though, I haven't really thought about it so much. I've been so busy with work changes and duties, Evelyn and just trying to enjoy my wonderful life right now that it hasn't been a huge focus and when I'm really lucky, I kind of forget it completely. I'm actually grateful for this because it means this time won't drag on as slowly as it did before.
With that said, it does sometimes feel pretty slow. I've really only been actively pregnant for about 6 weeks, though it seems like more time than just 6 weeks ha gone by. I guess that means my life is very full now.
A couple of weeks ago we had some spotting that started very light and gradually turned into bright red. I made an emergency appt with my doctor to see what was happening. I spent 2 days trying to prepare myself for the worst: "if you're miscarrying theres nothing you can do now, at least it was early, it's going to be okay" but I had a sad moment where I tried to reconcile myself to the new state I was going to be in, and I had this despairing thought of "I'm sorry baby, I failed you". I mourned internally for the lost baby and (selfishly) for the sickness I had gone through, only to have it come to nothing. After these thoughts passed, I tried to be zen about everything and felt calm going into the ultrasound. Because it was so early on. It just looks like a little blob so I didn't know what I was seeing, I just kept waiting to see some fluttering. 15 silent minutes into the ultrasound, The technician turns the screen to me, focuses on the baby and points out " see that little movement? That's the heartbeat". I felt such relief that I covered my face and cried. I think the tech felt bad as she apologized for "keeping us in the dark so long".
But all is well now, no other problems and baby was measuring 3 days ahead of schedule at last check :)
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